Snow Falling on Snow

Water, Cold, Trees, Beauty

Water, Cold, Trees, Beauty

O Jesus, where are you?
Snow falling on snow
spring snow that penetrates my bones
Frozen Beauty Melting

Frozen Beauty Melting


So beautiful, and yet so painful
I am restless
agitated in the silence
difficult to breathe in my soul
Falling like the snowflakes descending
on a spring morning
only to melt away…in an hour, day, week at most
Swirling, not dancing…on the cusp of rain drops
panic of life known
short lived
But in the life of a snowflake
Time is only the moment
White and light
Structure architecturally stunning
unnoticed by even other snowflakes
Insignificant…falling…fighting
By myself…even more done into foolish vanity
succumbing to sudden beauty evaporated…
I am a snow flake…only…alone…
Frozen in thought

Frozen in thought

Insignificant...Not!

Insignificant…Not!

He is not here anymore...Alleluia!

He is not here anymore…Alleluia!

WHAT HAPPENED?!

April 5, 2012 ~ Holy Thursday ~ Atlantic Beach

 

I flew into Jacksonville seven years ago today. I returned from a gruesome battle in Iraq. I did not feel welcome by my church or by my community. That big sign over the entrance, “Welcome Home,” was hollow for me. Of course this was my perception and may have had nothing to do with reality.

ImageImageImage 

I could not find my home.

Here I am, still alone, a little lonely and no community I can call my own.

Physically and mentally I am really fine.

Even spiritually I am invigorated.

 

But I am experiencing being forgotten, just like Joseph after his brothers sold him into slavery and lied to their father that he was torn apart by wild beasts. Yes, of course I know that Joseph eventually forgave his brothers, and he knew in his heart that if they had not sold him and treated him so badly, they would have all perished. And maybe there is something of truth in my situation. However, as I go through this very difficult time, I know I must go alone and love those who may be persecuting me. Jesus on the cross says over and over, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” I pray I have the wisdom and courage to do so.

 

In many ways, I have been forgotten and discarded.

The people of God need something I have, but they don’t know it.

O Jesus, my God, my Father, my Friend and my Beloved

You came to bring us home but no one saw it,

…not even your closest friends and apostles

 

All that I need in this world is You alone

Nothing else will satisfy my longing

For justice, freedom and mercy

For wisdom, courage and comfort

For healing, wholeness and new life

 ImageImage

I thirst and pant for you, Jesus

I hunger for your body and love

Fill my soul with your light and love

Inebriate my being with your blood

Calm my terror and fear

Let me hear you say,

“Do not be afraid!”

 

Pope John Paul II died seven years ago on Divine Mercy Sunday.

I was flying to Haiti just ten days after I arrived home

I was still at the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy, only a teenager

 when he was announced as the Pope to follow John Paul I

I learned of it in the small chapel and then saw him at Shea Stadium

 

It seems that my body is always traveling since then:

            Apartheid in South Africa

            Military coup in Liberia

Israel and the Dome of the Rock, Wailing Wall, and Holy Sepulcher

Watching the Exorcist in Italian

Korea and Panama

Hawaii and dashed dreams of marriage and family

Image

Benedictine Monks

Japan, Hong Kong, Thailand

Hiroshima

Murderers and a court martial

Project Rachael

Australia, Puerto Rico and Cuba

Fatima and Rome

Haiti, Honduras, Bahamas and the Poor

Image

Marines

The Poor in Spirit

Stewardship and International Conference and presentations

A horrific war in between the Tigris and Euphrates River

 

I am so unworthy, but here I am as your beloved

All I have is Jesus, Saint Augustine and ecstasy

O Jesus

O Father

O Mother

O my

Give me strength, courage and wisdom to endure my cross with dignity and love

Show me your wounds

May my wounds touch Your wounds

Allow me to walk with You

on this terribly and frightening Dark Night

Give me rest and food so I may lead your people home

Call me into our sacred wounds

 

I long to help you carry your cross, if only for a moment

 

Jesus ~ I am terrified and scared and yet hope is firm

            I love you

            I trust you

            I believe in you

            I need you

 

And You whisper into my heart and soul:

 

            “Ron Moses, I need you too.

            You are my beloved son, brother, friend and lover…my beloved”

 

Forgive me for doubting your mercy and touch,

so sweet and healing

Here I am…always…and in all ways

Show me the Way

            wow and o my

You have shown me the depths of your love.

I glimpse your smile and handsome beauty.

 

Good Friday ~ Morning ~ April 6, 2012 ~Queen of Peace rectory

 

Last night I proclaimed the Gospel

Jesus stripped himself and washed feet

The power in my voice came from God alone

            I was merely an instrument

I am called to do the same as everyone else is…

…to wash feet

 which in reality means to

cure the sick

raise the dead

drive out demons

and cleanse lepers

Be Good NewsImageImage

Holy Saturday and Easter Vigil ~ Moon Rising!

 

Not feeling well enough to go to the Easter Vigil at the church

The Easter Vigil came to me!

Moon rose at 9:11

Exhausted mentally, physically and spiritually

I rode my bike to the beach

Binoculars in hand…the moon filled my view

She looked like the Bloody Eucharist…Body and Blood

“Go tell them Ron Moses! Tell them I Am alive!”

 Image

 

Love, Joy, Peace…and Alleluia

Father Ron Moses +