Christmas Meditation

Holy is God’s name

My Soul bursts with love for the Living God

Morning pause, morning chill

Warmth in my heart, helping to warm the morning

Rejoice, Rejoice

Children and Lovers of God

Sun splashes the top branches and houses

Birds greet the morning, warming the sound.

 

“The Beloved has exalted me by a gift so great,

so unheard of,

that language is useless to describe it,

and the depths of love in my heart can scarcely grasp it.

I offer then all the powers of my soul in praise and thanksgiving.

As I joyfully surrender my whole life, my senses, my judgment…

for my spirit rejoices in the eternal Godhead (Beloved) of that JESUS, that SAVIOR, whom I have conceived in this world of time.”

(Mother Mary through Venerable Bede, priest)

Thank You God, my Father, my Mother, my Lover for the Gift of your wisdom, knowledge, understanding, counsel, reverence, courage and wonder/awe…

Truly the best Christmas ever!

 

So for Christmas, God has prepared a gift for the World, You and Me.

God has wrapped us in swaddling clothes after Baptism in water and fire.

We are confirmed in the Holy Spirit and sent as Good News to the world.

The Spirit of the Beloved is upon us because Our Beloved God has anointed us to bring Good News to the Poor.   God is sending us from this Christ-Mass (Chrism Mass)

to proclaim liberty to captives (emotionally, economically, psychologically, physically), recovery of sight to the blind (especially inward and of the soul),

to let the oppressed go free,

and a Year (of mercy and love) acceptable to the Beloved God.

 

The Woman gets Alone Time with Jesus

5^th Sunday of Lent – March, 2016

Isaiah 43:16-21 ~ “In the desert I make a way,… for I put water in the desert and rivers in the wasteland for my chosen people to drink, the people whom I formed for myself, that they might announce my praise.”

Psalm 126 ~ The Lord has done great things for us; we are filled with joy

Philippians 3:8-14 ~ Brothers and sisters: I consider everything as a loss because of the supreme good of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and Beloved. For his sake I have accepted the loss of all things and I consider them so much rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him…

John 8:1-11 ~ Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. But early in the morning he arrived again in the temple area, and all the people started coming to him, and he sat down and taught them. Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery and made her stand in the middle. They said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” They said this to test him, so that they could have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger. But when they continued asking him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he bent down and wrote on the ground.

And in response, they went away one by one, beginning with the elders. So he was left alone with the woman before him. Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She replied, “No one, sir.” Then Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin any more.”

 

If anyone threw a stone in their arrogance, Jesus would protect her.

There is a growing time bomb beneath the soul of human kind.

The last century has been an accumulation of nuclear and hydrogen bombs and weapons. Polarization just like the scribes and Pharisees of Jesus’ time is taking place. Jesus was the scapegoat then, now it is the nasty opinions and anger. Automatic weapons and a plethora of guns keep stockpiling.

This is just like the Israelite community after “escaping” Egypt with Moses and Aaron.

No water.

No food.

A desert.

Grumble…Grumble…Grumble

God is bringing us Home forever.

We complain about the transport!!

We in the United States are

Blessed for no other reason:

IN GOD WE TRUST

Not everyone has to agree with us.

We can still love those with differing opinions…pray for them.

We have unheard of freedoms,

Speech

Religion

Rights

Food (freedom from hunger)

Wealth and safe water

Even crumbling infrastructure that still works

Ability to travel anywhere in the world safely

Citizenship and

Immigrants from every country in the world

The rest of the world is jealous… Can we blame them?

We can wake up in the morning and choose to walk with Jesus,

The creator of the world…

Of what could we be afraid?

Though you are homeless

Though you’re alone

I will bring you home

Home to your own place

In a beautiful land

I will bring you home

 

I will be your home

I will be your home

In this feared and fallen world,

I will be you home.

 

Whatever’s the matter

Whatever’s been done,

I will be your home…

                  (Song composed by Michael Card)

 

For all that happened to the poor woman dragged in front of Jesus,

She gets alone time with Jesus…

Are we jealous of her?

Such intimacy

Such love

Such mercy

She is my nomination for the Supreme Court justice…

Very, very liberal in Mercy!

O to Good News!!!

 

Put out into the deep and trust Jesus!

“Yes.”

God’s art

Broke Bread – Poured out blood alone

Stripped and Beautiful

and peacefully being
Entered into the dance at St. John’s
a man cornered me, or so I thought
anxious about father dying
Part of me wanted to pass him off
And thank God, I felt the nudge
Could see You healing this man of grief and loss
When I mindfully looked
I saw
I allowed love to
rustle through my heart, soul and body

solitude or loneliness

Then off to pray at St. Anthony’s Shrine
First, my walk in the wood for an hour
Commune – cold – but grateful
Herd of deer slipped mysteriously by me before I could focus
and then silence
still winter, no snow
still sleeping

surviving solitude

An hour later, I sat in the chapel
and sat
and drifted
and sat…and waited impatiently, but serenely for a change

At one point I stood up, kept my boots on
and stood before the cross over the altar
“You, O Beloved God, know that I love you. I know that you love me,” I breathed and went on,
“You, o Beloved – listened so intently to my prayers, my breathing, the beat of my heart.”

“I desire and long to rest my head on your breast.
Touch your face
Kiss you, rest in your arms all night.

You, o Beloved were not offended.
You pine for me?!
A single tear escaped and rolled down from my right eye, over my cheek and into my neck…
You kissed me
So much to fathom. So much I could not take in.
You spoke…
You whispered…

Without totally understanding, I felt the struggle of the word raising in my throat..

“Yes.”

broken but beautiful

WHAT HAPPENED?!

April 5, 2012 ~ Holy Thursday ~ Atlantic Beach

 

I flew into Jacksonville seven years ago today. I returned from a gruesome battle in Iraq. I did not feel welcome by my church or by my community. That big sign over the entrance, “Welcome Home,” was hollow for me. Of course this was my perception and may have had nothing to do with reality.

 

I could not find my home.

Here I am, still alone, a little lonely and no community I can call my own.

Physically and mentally I am really fine.

Even spiritually I am invigorated.

 

But I am experiencing being forgotten, just like Joseph after his brothers sold him into slavery and lied to their father that he was torn apart by wild beasts. Yes, of course I know that Joseph eventually forgave his brothers, and he knew in his heart that if they had not sold him and treated him so badly, they would have all perished. And maybe there is something of truth in my situation. However, as I go through this very difficult time, I know I must go alone and love those who may be persecuting me. Jesus on the cross says over and over, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” I pray I have the wisdom and courage to do so.

 

In many ways, I have been forgotten and discarded.

The people of God need something I have, but they don’t know it.

O Jesus, my God, my Father, my Friend and my Beloved

You came to bring us home but no one saw it,

…not even your closest friends and apostles

 

All that I need in this world is You alone

Nothing else will satisfy my longing

For justice, freedom and mercy

For wisdom, courage and comfort

For healing, wholeness and new life

 

I thirst and pant for you, Jesus

I hunger for your body and love

Fill my soul with your light and love

Inebriate my being with your blood

Calm my terror and fear

Let me hear you say,

“Do not be afraid!”

 

Pope John Paul II died seven years ago on Divine Mercy Sunday.

I was flying to Haiti just ten days after I arrived home

I was still at the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy, only a teenager

 when he was announced as the Pope to follow John Paul I

I learned of it in the small chapel and then saw him at Shea Stadium

 

It seems that my body is always traveling since then:

            Apartheid in South Africa

            Military coup in Liberia

Israel and the Dome of the Rock, Wailing Wall, and Holy Sepulcher

Watching the Exorcist in Italian

Korea and Panama

Hawaii and dashed dreams of marriage and family

Benedictine Monks

Japan, Hong Kong, Thailand

Hiroshima

Murderers and a court martial

Project Rachael

Australia, Puerto Rico and Cuba

Fatima and Rome

Haiti, Honduras, Bahamas and the Poor

Marines

The Poor in Spirit

Stewardship and International Conference and presentations

A horrific war in between the Tigris and Euphrates River

 

I am so unworthy, but here I am as your beloved

All I have is Jesus, Saint Augustine and ecstasy

O Jesus

O Father

O Mother

O my

Give me strength, courage and wisdom to endure my cross with dignity and love

Show me your wounds

May my wounds touch Your wounds

Allow me to walk with You

on this terribly and frightening Dark Night

Give me rest and food so I may lead your people home

Call me into our sacred wounds

 

I long to help you carry your cross, if only for a moment

 

Jesus ~ I am terrified and scared and yet hope is firm

            I love you

            I trust you

            I believe in you

            I need you

 

And You whisper into my heart and soul:

 

            “Ron Moses, I need you too.

            You are my beloved son, brother, friend and lover…my beloved”

 

Forgive me for doubting your mercy and touch,

so sweet and healing

Here I am…always…and in all ways

Show me the Way

            wow and o my

You have shown me the depths of your love.

I glimpse your smile and handsome beauty.

 

Good Friday ~ Morning ~ April 6, 2012 ~Queen of Peace rectory

 

Last night I proclaimed the Gospel

Jesus stripped himself and washed feet

The power in my voice came from God alone

            I was merely an instrument

I am called to do the same as everyone else is…

…to wash feet

 which in reality means to

cure the sick

raise the dead

drive out demons

and cleanse lepers

Be Good News

Holy Saturday and Easter Vigil ~ Moon Rising!

 

Not feeling well enough to go to the Easter Vigil at the church

The Easter Vigil came to me!

Moon rose at 9:11

Exhausted mentally, physically and spiritually

I rode my bike to the beach

Binoculars in hand…the moon filled my view

She looked like the Bloody Eucharist…Body and Blood

“Go tell them Ron Moses! Tell them I Am alive!”

 

 

Love, Joy, Peace…and Alleluia

Father Ron Moses +

OUT IN THE DESERT

The Spirit drove Jesus out into the desert
where he remained for forty days
tempted by Satan.
He was among the wild beasts and the angels ministered to him.

Jesus fasted and prayed all the time, not just when he was in the desert. When I went to the desert for 40 weeks, I saw things I would have never seen before. When a rare and solitary bird perched in the distressed and pitiful tree while I was praying one morning behind the hospital, my heart and soul made room for the gratitude in my heart. This little bird of God’s creation filled me and sustained me in the desert of my surroundings and the desert of my being. Fallujah Iraq sits between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. This is near where the story of Abraham began his journey and walk with God. Abraham was driven from his home.

I was very reluctant to leave St. Patrick’s behind and serve with the Marines out in the desert. I was literally driven. In my heart, it seemed to be something very sacred calling me into the desert. Before I even agreed to go, I begged God to send someone else since I was so terrified. In the silence, Jesus assured me that he would never ask me to do something he would not do. Jesus would never let me go to the desert without Him.

Lent is like being forced into the desert. Out in the desert we discover things beyond our wildest imaginations. In the Gospel we heard on Ash Wednesday Jesus promises us that prayer from the heart will be repaid:

“But when you pray, go to your inner room,
close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.”

We never go alone into the desert of our fasting and prayer. It will always bring us to an encounter with the burning bush or the voice of God. God, our Creator, will listen to our tiny cries! The prophet Isaiah speaks the Word of God and shares with us the fruit of the true fasting and prayer requested by God:

This, rather, is the fasting that I wish:
releasing those bound unjustly,
untying the thongs of the yoke;
Setting free the oppressed,
breaking every yoke;
Sharing your bread with the hungry,
sheltering the oppressed and the homeless;
Clothing the naked when you see them,
and not turning your back on your own.
Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,
and your wound shall quickly be healed;
Your vindication shall go before you,
and the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer,
you shall cry for help, and he will say: Here I am!

Isaiah 58:1-9

Out in the Desert

Out in the desert, God spoke to me no matter what kind of terror or boredom I was wrestling with. God said to me, “Here I am!” as death and violence raged about me. When I was forced to empty myself, God filled my emptiness that sustains me to this day. I shared the attached story this past weekend. This story is for me.

Have a blessed and holy week of Lent.
Love, joy, peace,

Father Ron Moses +

Bring an empty cup

There’s a story about a little country parish. One Sunday a rich man was passing by the church and, as he passed by, he heard the priest giving his homily. The man came in and sat down to listen After Mass, he went to the priest and said, “What can I give or do to become part of this parish? I have a lot of money. I also have power and prestige. What can I do?”

The priest said this: “When you hear about the forgiveness of sins, say to yourself, ‘This is for me.’ When you hear the gospel preached, say, ‘This is for me.’ When you receive the Body and Blood of Christ in the Eucharist, say, ‘This is for me.’

And one more thing. Every time you come to worship, bring an empty cup. Carry this cup with you whenever you come. It will remind you that you can give nothing. It will remind you that you’re really a poor beggar, and that everything is a gift from God.”

And to this day, people see that man carrying an empty cup when he goes to Mass. And not only that, but it seems that some of the other parishioners have started to carry empty cups too. They carry them wherever they go. It reminds them that they can bring nothing. It reminds them that they too, are beggars. And it reminds them that everything – literally, everything – comes by the grace of God.

Empty Vessel

Empty Cup

This is for me

Here comes Ash Wednesday…Let us Rejoice!

When you pray

Here comes Ash Wednesday! Let us rejoice and be glad!

“…But when you pray,
go to your inner room,
close the door,
and pray to your Father in secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.”
~ Jesus (MT 6:1-6)

Rejoice and be Glad!

The preceding passage comes from the Gospel for Ash Wednesday. No matter where we are, whether we are in prison, school, work or war, we are being called to our inner room. Where is our inner room?

I believe beyond a doubt that our inner room is closer than we could ever imagine, but something keeps us from opening the door. Often times, when my everyday life becomes busy and full, I forget to go into that room beyond my heart and soul to find the source of my being. Do we avoid going to unfamiliar places because we are afraid?

When we do find our inner room, we experience heaven on earth. It is that simple, yet we make it so complicated. Next Sunday on the First Week of Lent, the Gospel passage is taken from the first chapter of Mark.

The Spirit drove Jesus out into the desert,
and he remained in the desert for forty days,
tempted by Satan.
He was among wild beasts, and the angels ministered to him.

Jesus, when in the wild desert, found his inner room. His Father repaid him with a special Cross. The Cross is the door to the Sacred Heart of God the Father. If we discover our own inner room, God will repay each of us with an intimate and loving relationship with the Beloved. This is priceless.

Looking for the inner room

Ash Wednesday is the door we must enter in order to find this intimacy with God, Our Beloved. I will conclude with a time while I was out in Iraq, when I found my inner room. God, my Beloved, repaid me for my efforts beyond my wildest dreams. God was giving me a share in His Cross, which of course is priceless.

Lent is an opportunity to seek and find Our Beloved God who heals us, shares in our meals, feeds us, washes our feet, encourages us, protects us from the evil one, and invites us to stand at the foot of His Cross. God lavishes us with grace upon grace, gift upon gift. Our Beloved even entrusts His Beloved Mother to us. O Beloved, let us truly enter lent with the Ashes on our foreheads and enter the true inner room in the inner chambers of Jesus’ Sacred Heart. The pay and benefits are great!

A Talk with God in my inner room 10-4-2004

You knew, O Beloved Lord, better than I what was to unfold
yesterday. You had me in your arms as I wrestled, whimpered,
cried and sadly…complained.

Transportation was a mess as I attempted to provide Catholic
services to the forward operating bases outside Camp Fallujah. I
am sorry, Lord; I may have been irritated and slightly ugly. But
all along you had me in your love, even though you may have been
disappointed with me. My homily was about faith, and I exhibited
little faith, if any. And that is the problem. It wasn’t my homily; it
was yours: your stories, your parables, your suffering and your
death. I did nothing for I am a servant, unprofitable at that, of your
Word, your Love, your hopes, your dreams, and your commands.

Yesterday was for me. My inconveniences and frustrations were
all gifts. I see this now; the purpose was to bring me and draw me
closer to your heart.

Forgive me, Lord, for doubting. Forgive me for my harsh words
and my insane stubbornness. I knew it was a graced moment when
Captain Brian Heatherman invited me to the infamous Abu Ghraib
prison. It was you, more than me, who desired and wanted your
Body to be sacrificed there. I didn’t trust you. I feel so goofy, almost
ashamed. And yet I know within my soul and heart, that you desire
not that I be ashamed or embarrassed. I will profit immensely if I
simply follow you and fill my being with you – Love itself.

O Beloved, you are mightier than the storms of hatred and insanity.
It is You, and You alone, who will bring peace and stability to this
region of the world. It is You who is already at work in every darkened heart, fulfilling Your promise given here almost 4,000 years ago.

Awesome! Lord Jesus, my spirit, life, and breath; I beg of You to
show me Your plan so I can better follow You into Eternity.

What a story last night. You placed me in the center of those men,
Baptists and Protestants, to lead them in the Word of God. I felt their
mistrust, but I knew You placed me there. About 25 men gathered for
the non-denominational prayer service. Chaplain Ron Kennedy was
very sick, and You urged me to be uncomfortable and cover for him.
When I proclaimed Your Word, the authority was there. I felt it. When
You spoke to them through me, I was in awe. I’m not sure You wanted me to
lay hands on them, though, because some of them got up and scattered at that!
Suspicious I presume of the Anti-Christ and us ‘Catholics.’

What must You have endured when Your very own people got up and abandoned
You as you gave them Your body, Your blood, and Your heart? Come to think of it,
I still do this. You say to me, “And you, Ron Moses, are you going to leave me,
too?” I fumble with words, “O not me, for You Jesus have the words of Eternal Life.”
And yet, You know me so well. I will choose death over and over until I surrender
not just my will, but my very life and breath.

O Jesus, what have You done? There are so many holier priests than me. How
could you pick me when these men and women will be ex-periencing life-changing
amputations, wounds or even dying? I want to trust You totally, Jesus.
Increase my faith! Increase my love!

What have you done, Jesus?

And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do,
that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
John 14:13

You ask, “What do you want Me to do for you?”
I say, “Increase my love for You and my neighbor and my enemy.
Increase my love. Increase my love.”
And you answer me in my inner room…in secret.

Then I ask for more…
Teach me patience, Lord, Beloved, Holy One.
Teach me wisdom…
Teach me Love.

I love you, Ron Moses +

After the inner room

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13

Everyone is looking for you!

On leaving the synagogue Jesus entered the house of Simon and Andrew with James and John. Simon’s mother-in-law lay sick with a fever. They immediately told him about her. He approached, grasped her hand, and helped her up. Then the fever left her and she waited on them.
When it was evening, after sunset, they brought to him all who were ill or possessed by demons. The whole town was gathered at the door. He cured many who were sick with various diseases, and he drove out many demons, not permitting them to speak because they knew him.
Rising very early before dawn, he left and went off to a deserted place, where he prayed. Simon and those who were with him pursued him and on finding him said, “Everyone is looking for you!” He told them, “Let us go on to the nearby villages that I may preach there also. For this purpose have I come.” So he went into their synagogues, preaching and driving out demons throughout the whole of Galilee.

The Gospel according to Mark 1:29-19

When I was growing up, my whole family went to church every Sunday. The nine kids took up a whole pew! On the way home, we often would talk about the Gospel as we either got donuts or prepared the Sunday brunch that was usually around 2 p.m.

Crushed by Love

Many times, we would be in New Hampshire skating on Lake Winnipesaukee or in the small boat as a family. The consistent factor of all Sundays was that those over the age of 7 had the Body of Christ in their own body and soul. Missing Mass was unthinkable. Those who hadn’t received their First Communion yet were very close to Jesus in a very special way. We literally walked, splashed and played with Jesus throughout our lives.

Can you see Jesus?

When Jesus went “home” with brothers Simon, Andrew, James and John, they must have lived in a similar way. They talked about the Jewish readings. If someone got sick, everyone in the family knew about it. Jesus entered the life of the people to let them know that we are all part of an even larger family where God is our Father and Jesus’ mother is our Mother. Families need to pray and play together in order to grow in deeper love and appreciation.

Jesus healed a lot of people that day. The religious leaders were upset and jealous with Jesus. They accused him of breaking the laws because he healed people on the Sabbath. The people waited until the Sabbath was officially over before they had the courage to bring the sick and addicted to Jesus. I wonder if Jesus was somehow multiplying the loaves and fishes so that he could feed the people after he healed them.

But early in the morning, before the sunrise, Jesus took off to pray.

When is the last time you “prayed” to God or Jesus and didn’t ask for something? When is the last time you got up early to just sit with God with no expectations? How often do you simply say, “Good morning Jesus, it is great to be alive. Where do you want to go today?” Simon and those who were with him pursued Jesus until they found him. Their prayer was a petition so that the people could experience miraculous healings. “Everyone is looking for you!”

Ron and Diane after Mass

Jesus knows when we are sick. When people ask me to pray for healing for them, my prayer is usually for the person to just relax and accept their cross. I truly look forward to my death, but I also look forward to living here on earth. With regards our health, if we are honest, we sometimes are under-responsible for it. And then we are over-responsible for others’ health. Personally, I believe that Jesus is the best health insurance we could ever obtain…and it is free!

Whenever I have been sick physically, mentally or spiritually, I thank God for my sickness, my cross. It wasn’t easy when I got shingles a few years back. In some ways, it gives me time to appreciate my usually good health. I simply breathe in… and then I breathe out…

Jesus has been beside me, above me, below me and within me all my life. I have no fear when I realize that Jesus, my beloved, won’t let anything harm me. When I was in Iraq, I realized the incredible power I had. I can tell Jesus about the need for healing…and I actually do. However, Jesus usually asks me to help Him in the healing. I could see well beyond the war that the people I served would need the healing of Jesus. Once I find Jesus, he is already going on to other places.

“Let us go on to the nearby villages that I may preach there also. For this purpose have I come.”

We are Called to...

Jesus our Savior is counting on you and me to follow him. If you noticed, the disciples never got sick while they were with Jesus. Most of them died because they were murdered. Jesus is on a mission. If you truly follow him you will be healthy. It will require great faith. Jesus is approaching you at this minute, grasping your hand, and helping you up.

Trust Jesus.

Go with him as he spreads the Good News to all nations and peoples.

“The Spirit of the Beloved is upon me because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. God sent me to proclaim liberty to captives, recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, and to proclaim a year acceptable to Our Beloved God.”

Let us all have the best week ever as we play and pray with Jesus.
Love, joy, peace,
Father Ron Moses +

Jesus with me...always!

Ronnie

YES, JESUS!

In the last meditations of Father Anthony De Mello in The Way of Love, he begins one of his mediations:

“Think of a flabby person covered with layers of fat. That is what your mind can become—flabby, covered with layers of fat till it becomes too dull and lazy to think, to observe, to explore, to discover. It loses its alertness, its aliveness, its flexibility and goes to sleep. Look around you and you will see almost everyone with minds like that: dull, asleep, protected by layers of fat, not wanting to be disturbed or questioned into wakefulness.”

After copying this in my journal on November 29, I wrote the following:

Come, Beloved Jesus…
WAKE US UP!!! WAKE ME UP!!!

Then on Saturday morning on the memorial of St. Francis Xavier, as I was preparing to hear Confessions at St. John the Evangelist Church in Interlachen, I wrote the following:

Yes, Jesus
You have awoken my Spirit.
Yes, I will follow
and lead the way
through the darkness into your heart
although I am already within, but I didn’t know it!

O Jesus, all alone again
Bob, my brother priest helps me through the bog

You truly have come
to set a fire on the earth
and division.
You baptize me with your blood…so hot at first that I recoil

Patience, kindness, gentleness
Thanks for the fruit and sweetness
Generosity, purity, faithfulness
Thanks for the warm bread
Love, joy, peace,
Thanks for the strength and depth!

How long you must have waited for my soul to awaken
Groggy, whiney complaining

And yet, I feel and experience
how you purify me
spit on my eyes
hold me close to your breasts
like my Italian grandmother, Teresa,
pulled me in with her love and arms
It was so very uncomfortable
to breathe and think
with my face smashed into Grandma’s breasts
And yet, I now long for that uncomfortable love that conquers all

O Beloved God,
smash my face into your breasts
make me uncomfortable
call me to grow up and mature

I am here this morning
with You,
Just like three years ago
after Bishop John encouraged me
that sometimes I have to carry my cross
And then the man who ordained me
laid hands on me again
and forgave me.
As I drove down to Interlachen to hear confessions,
it hit me
the oils of Chrism flooded my eyes,
poured down on my beard (that has been long ago shaved off)
and into my heart and soul

Yes, You, O God, have ordained me
to be Your son
Your brother
and your lover
I am truly Father Ron
and I tremble at the prospect
just as every father does
as his tiny babe drawn from his loins and his beloved’s womb
is placed in his hands for the first time
Love pours like oil—a father forever
even if it costs him his life,
he will defend his wife and children
and then the world.
And now I beg forgiveness
and as I whimper my request
the words pour forth from your heart and soul
as you are tortured on the cross
“Ron, today you will be with me in Paradise!”

Today?!
Take it in. Savor it.
Be protected by these words.
Rejoice in it.
Celebrate it.
O Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining
This is the day and night of Our dear Savior’s, and Our birth.
Long lay my world and our world in sin and error pining
Till He appeared,
my Father and your Father,
my Brother and your Brother,
my Lover and your Lover
and my soul felt its worth
a thrill of hope, a weary world rejoices
for yonder and here breaks
a new and glorious morn—
Fall on my knees
I hear the angel voices
“O night divine when Christ was born,
O night, O night divine”

Breathe on me Jesus
Enflame my soul
Burst my dullness and darkness
Bring Light! Bring Light!
Use me
Your will be done
Shatter my deafness, my loneliness, and my darkness
Devour me so that I might live
Breathe in…
Breathe out…
Proclaim to all the world and universe
God is with us,
Always,
Until the end of time…and beyond!!!
o my! o wow! and oooh!!!

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And then on Sunday morning as I was sipping my coffee on the back porch and praying the Office of Readings, I read the words of St. John Damascene, priest and doctor, on his feast day:

“O Lord, you led me from my father’s loins and formed me in my mother’s womb. You brought me, a naked babe, into the light of day, for nature’s laws always obey your commands.
By the blessing of the Holy Spirit, you prepared my creation and my existence, not because man willed it or flesh desired it, but by your ineffable grace. The birth you prepared for me was such that it surpassed the laws of our nature. You sent me forth into the light by adopting me as your son and you enrolled me among the children of your holy and spotless Church.
You nursed me with the spiritual milk of your divine utterances. You kept me alive with the solid food of the body of Jesus Christ, your only-begotten Son and our God, and you let me drink from the chalice of his life-giving blood, poured out to save the whole world.
You loved us, O Beloved…”

Beloved, I pray you are having a wonderful Advent. I am. This week I am going to be courageous and offer you a homework assignment. Go ahead and read Psalm 104 out loud. It speaks in very poetic words and imagery of how God creates our world and all who live in it. God is an Awesome God. God is Good…ALL THE TIME!
Yes, Jesus!

Love, joy, peace,
Father Ron Moses +

Stewards of Birth

STEWARDS of BIRTH

In honor of Kaleigh Marie Hutchinson, I thought I would speak of the stewardship of the birthing process. Giving birth is a very spiritual journey.

Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta blessed the entire world with a very simple path. It is a prayer I live by.

The fruit of silence is prayer.
The fruit of prayer is faith.
The fruit of faith is love.
The fruit of love is service.
The fruit of service is peace.

The journey of the Carmelites in the States of Prayer is similar:

The unawakened self
The awakened self
Purgative
Illuminative
The Dark Night of the Soul
Union

Birthing follows a similar path. The child grows in silence within her mother’s womb for 40 weeks. A mother of a child in the womb loves and worries over her child in silence. There are no words to express this. The anguish of a mother whose baby dies in her womb is indescribable. There are no words that would do justice. There are no words that will fill that death and void. Even though my mother had nine healthy babies, she still remembered and loved her first baby that died in her womb and miscarried.

Back then, no one suggested naming the child who died in my mother’s womb in the early 1950’s. I wonder if my ninth sibling would have been a brother or a sister. And so the mother prays for her child and for herself to be the best “Mom” ever.

The fruit of prayer is faith. The mother (and hopefully father) prays for their child growing in the womb. “O beloved child in the womb, we can’t wait until you are born. You will leave your home of the womb and be part of our active family. We want to show you colors, love, family, growth, literature, earth, laughter, running, joy and so much more.” The child responds with, “It sounds great to come to your ‘heavenly earth’, but if I don’t like it, can I come back to this womb?”

The fruit of faith is love. Love isn’t easy. The mother knows that the child will never be able to enter back to the safe temporary home of the womb. The child says, “If I can’t come back, then I don’t want to leave. I will hold on to this love I have discovered in the womb forever!” And this is the dilemma; Mom is well aware that the birthing process will be very painful for her and her child. But it is the only way. If the birth is natural childbirth, the child must traverse the very narrow birth canal where the dangers are plethora. If it is caesarean, the birthing won’t be as painful for the child, but the birth is just as terrifying. If the baby could speak, she will cry out, “I am blinded by this light! I am cold for the first time! I am hungry! What is this hunger thing? I am too upset to learn how to suckle my mother’s breast!” For the next 18+ years, this beloved child will have to change and learn constantly, whether learning to read, study, play fairly, grieve a loved one or learn manners. Life will be an ongoing and relentless wrestling match.

And yet Mom will have to in faith, trust. For when the water breaks and the womb tears, when Mom is safe with a midwife or in a hospital, then she will have to go against her child and push the child out into the world.

The fruit of love is service. The mother simply surrenders and says, “Behold, I am the mother of this child. Let it be done to me according to the will of God.” She is a mother forever. She is at the mercy of love, even if that love is not returned. She will always do what is best for her child, even if the child protests, responds with hatred or disowns. I have to believe that the problem with abortion is that the mother of the child within the womb has been lied to. “Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.” The mother in these cases is an infant child herself. Others have convinced her that her baby is really just a fetus. As a counselor, I would call this “mother abuse.”

Often, when I am blessed with a woman who is attempting to heal from the horrors and terror of an abortion or miscarriage, I listen first. Then I ask them the name of their child who has died sometimes twenty years earlier. Once the child is named, I invite her to offer the child to Jesus (or Allah…or Yahweh…or Love). Hundreds of mothers have introduced me to their children with names like, Lilly, James, John, Isabel, Patrick, Daniela, Caitlin, John Paul, Robert, Jacqueline and Ronald. Sometimes I receive a beautiful peace plant on the anniversary of a child from an anonymous mother moving through the grief, yet full of gratitude for the grace and mercy imparted to her from God.

The fruit of service is peace. True peace is knowing that we loved the best we could with the cards we were handed. I have never met a mother who did everything perfect in raising their child…even if for a very short time. The only perfect mother I have ever known is the Mother of Jesus. Jesus gave us his mother while dying on his cross. “Behold your Mother!” And she indeed was and is the perfect mother. But the perfect mother suffered and suffers greatly. “And you yourself, a sword will pierce so that the thoughts and hearts of many may be revealed.” She held her crucified son in her arms.

The fruit of peace is union. The fruit of peace is love. The circle of life continues. Love conquers all. Mothers push aside the labors of childbirth shortly after laying eyes on their child. Let us lift up in prayer, those mothers who have never seen their child alive. God and Mother Mary must have a very special place reserved for them in Heaven…a place where they will finally see the fruit of their womb!

Love, joy, peace,
Father Ron